Mesilas Yesharim, Perek 11 Part 3/11

AI summary (may contain mistakes)

What does nekiyus ask of a person between himself and his friend? Beyond the obvious aveiros, the subtle offshoots of onaas devarim, lashon hara and sheker mostly come from not thinking, so the key is constant care over what we do and say. Through the Mishnah's examples of hurtful words, we learn to feel the other person's pain, to give tochacha only in a way that helps, and to think before speaking.

Key points

• Nekiyus guards against subtle aveiros that come from lack of knowledge or seeking loopholes.
• The Mishnah counts reminding a baal teshuva of his earlier deeds as onaas devarim.
• A sufferer is not told he deserves it, but shown that we too wonder why.
• The Mishnah calls onaas devarim worse than cheating someone with money.
• Thinking before speaking is the main way to guard against onaas devarim.

In this shiur

1. 0:00Zehirus and nekiyus reviewed
2. 4:08The list of interpersonal aveiros
3. 10:06Onaas devarim and the baal teshuva
4. 12:24Speaking to someone who suffers
5. 16:00Jokes at someone's expense
6. 18:47Giving tochacha properly
7. 22:48Shtika and thinking before speaking

Topics

• Nekiyus
• Onaas Devarim
• Bein Adam LaChaveiro